There are plenty of ways to review a wrestling show. You can dissect every match, analyse every storyline, discuss the booking, hand out star ratings and generally make yourself miserable trying to decide whether something was a 4¼ or 4½.

Fuck that.

Sometimes you just want to watch wrestling and enjoy the bits that make you sit up, laugh, wince, shout at the television or wonder whether the laws of physics have finally given up.

So, rather than pretending I’m about to provide some definitive verdict on RAW, here are five things from this week’s show that I really fucking liked.

Royce Keys and OTM Murder The Usos

Right off the bat we see The Usos pull up at the arena, only to be blindsided by Royce Keys and OTM, who block their car in and proceed to give Jimmy and Jay an ass whupping of biblical proportions.

I mean, I like violence and this was the very definition of the word. Jay was bleeding before he was dragged out of the car, and Jimmy is now dead after OTM chokeslammed him through the car’s back windshield. Jacob Fatu ran out to make the save, but way too fucking late.

Violence 1. Reality 0.

Jacob Fatu Declares War on Royce Keys and OTM

Well, I was expecting this, but not how it happened.

The show kicks off properly with a match for the Women’s Intercontinental Championship, but before Raquel Rodriguez and Sol Ruca can get to trading hands, Jacob Fatu appears, hijacks a camera, calls Royce Keys and OTM motherfuckers, and tells them that if they want a war, they got one.

Oh, Samoan Werewolf, never change.

Sol Ruca Doesn’t Believe in Gravity

I mean, does Newton’s Law of Universal Gravitation mean nothing to this woman? Apparently not.

Her Intercontinental Championship challenge may have ended in a loss, thanks to the old Dusty finish, but fuck me sideways, Sol Ruca is something else.

Highlight: the whatever that front flip into a back flip over the top rope onto Raquel Rodriguez thing is called.

Roman Reigns Being a Prick

From taking so long to get to the ring they now put a commercial break in his entrance, to taking just as long when he finally gets there to actually say something, then running down the entire roster, before running backstage to lamp LA Knight after Knight’s confrontation of the OTC was interrupted with the sight of a bloody Solo Sikoa laid out in the back, Prick Roman Reigns is far more entertaining than Good Roman Reigns.

Penta vs. Rey Fenix

I don’t care that this didn’t get as long as I would’ve liked. I don’t care that the audience started out flatter than the entirety of Holland, Penta and Rey Fenix could fight inside a fucking phone booth and still put on a five-star performance.

This has everything. Brother vs. Brother. Counter Move vs. Counter Move. Crazy Flippy Shit vs. Crazy Flippy Shit.

Fenix somehow landing on his feet from a top-rope Mexican Destroyer and then getting put through the fucking announce table with a Penta Driver were just two of the highlights in this madness.

Do I think that Penta will now go on to beat Roman Reigns in Mexico in a couple of weeks to become the new World Champion? No. Of course not, but after this outing I’m sure as water is wet that he’ll bring a side out of Reigns that we haven’t seen before.

Match of the Year contender, hands down.

And that’s RAW.

No star rating, no grand verdict and no attempt to tell you whether this was objectively a good wrestling show. These were simply five things that made me enjoy the three hours I spent watching it.

From Royce Keys and OTM turning The Usos into roadkill, to Sol Ruca apparently declaring war on gravity, Roman Reigns reminding us that he’s much more fun when he’s being an enormous prick, and Penta and Rey Fenix casually trying to kill each other for our entertainment, there was plenty here to enjoy.

If wrestling is supposed to be fun, then these were the bits that made RAW exactly that.