If news of one brand new movie from ITN Movies wasn’t enough, the studio have unleashed a trailer for Popeye Returns. That’s right, everyone’s favourite public domain sailor is back, pissed off, and jacked up with enough super solder serum to make Marvel’s lawyers twitchy.

After killing everyone and their grandma in Popeye’s Revenge, the anchor tattooed psycho breaks free of his prison where he has been experimented on – because reasons – and heads to a nearby summer camp to, well, quite frankly, fuck shit up.

Blood fly’s, heads get squished, and massive fucking anchors get inserted into body parts that weren’t designed to have massive fucking anchors inserted into them, in what promises to be a masterpiece of schlock cinema, adored by fans of the genre, and dispised by those who would rather try and figure out hidden meanings in horror films, instead of appreciating the subtle nuances that come with a big mental bastard stamping on someones head so hard that strawberry jam explodes all over the place.

Directed by William Stead, written by John Oak Dalton, and starring Steven Murphy, Lara Sas, Fitim DeStena, Danny Sains, and Olivia Lennox, Popeye Returns is listed as out soon.

Which is not soon enough for my liking.