Before Lee Cronin’s The Mummy hits theaters April 17, The Asylum had already rolled out their own version, because waiting politely was never really their thing.

Their take on The Mummy landed on Digital on April 3rd, dragging a cursed artifact, mucho spookiness, and a very stupid plan to cheat deathaling with it.

The story follows an Egyptologist who ends up holding a Bride of the Dead amulet, already a sentence that should come with a warning label. Naturally, this puts them in the crosshairs of a tech billionaire who’s convinced the relic can crack open the secrets of eternal life. Because in films like this, forbidden magic is less a red flag and more a to-do list.

What that actually unlocks, of course, is something far less appealing: a mummy curse that looks ready to dump your ass into the nearest sarcophagus just for the hell of it.

The cast includes Jon Jacobs, Lisa Zane, Apoorva Mittra, Siena Goines, and Sheba Jade, with Maurice Chauvet writing and directing in his feature debut. The film was previously titled The Mummy: Bride of the Dead, which tells you everything you need to know about how this is going to go.