I know what some of you are probably thinking. A name like The Coffee Table doesnโ€™t exactly send chills down your spine. If anything, it sounds like the film is going to put you to sleep, but this is actually one of the most intense cinematic experiences Iโ€™ve ever had. The press email described the movie to me as โ€œone of the cruelest films ever made,โ€ and now that Iโ€™ve seen it for myself, I can confirm that whoever wrote that was not exaggerating.

The Coffee Table was directed and co-written by Caye Casas, and it stars David Pareja, Estefanรญa de los Santos, Josep Riera, Claudia Riera, and Eduardo Antuรฑa. In the movie, Jesรบs and Marรญa are new parents going through a bit of a rough patch, and when we first meet them, theyโ€™re in a store arguing about whether to purchase the titular coffee table. Marรญa hates it, but despite his wifeโ€™s protestations, Jesรบs buys it anyway. And that ends up being the worst decision he ever made.

Some time afterward, Marรญa goes shopping and leaves her husband alone with their newborn son. It seems like no big deal, but the story soon takes an unexpectedly dark turn. Jesรบs falls into the new table while carrying the baby, and the poor kid ends up getting decapitated. Jesรบs is utterly traumatized by the accident, but he decides to hide the truth from his wife. He cleans up the mess and tells Marรญa the baby is just sleeping, and when his brother and the guyโ€™s new girlfriend come over to meet the kid, Jesรบs tries his best to keep his dark secret from ruining the occasion.

On paper, that plot synopsis might remind you a bit of the Alfred Hitchcock classic Rope, but for my money, The Coffee Table takes its cue from another, much more recent filmโ€“Hereditary. More specifically, itโ€™s very reminiscent of the harrowing sequence where Charlie gets decapitated and her brother just leaves her headless body in the car for their mother to find.

A woman
Photo courtesy of Cinephobia Releasing

You might even say The Coffee Table is just that sequence stretched out to fill an entire movie. Granted, it doesnโ€™t quite reach the torturous heights of Ari Asterโ€™s haunting debut, but it makes up for its lighter punch by forcing you to sit with Jesรบsโ€™ terrible secret for much, much longer.

Now, part of what makes that sequence in Hereditary so effective is Alex Wolffโ€™s great turn as Charlieโ€™s brother, and The Coffee Table leans on a similarly excellent performance. David Pareja is amazing as Jesรบs, and he absolutely nails the trauma this guy experiences at the death of his newborn son. He almost looks like heโ€™s about to faint the entire time, so everything he does and says, even down to his facial expressions, gives off a palpable sense of unbearable pain.

That being said, Pareja doesnโ€™t carry this movie all by himself. The Coffee Table canโ€™t truly work unless his co-stars carry their weight as well, and thankfully, the rest of this cast is 100% up to the task. Theyโ€™re completely believable as Jesรบsโ€™ blissfully ignorant wife, brother, and not-quite-sister-in-law, so theyโ€™re the perfect foils for this tortured father. Their utter exuberance at the mere existence of the baby would be infectious if you didnโ€™t know he was dead, and that joy makes Jesรบsโ€™ secret heartache stand out all the more.

That dynamic is the heart and soul of this entire film, and itโ€™s devastatingly effective. The uncomfortable tension will have you squirming in your seat from the moment the kid dies, and the story will stick with you long after the credits begin to roll. Itโ€™s almost a traumatic experience in itself, so if this doesnโ€™t sound like something youโ€™d enjoy, practice some self-care and give The Coffee Table a pass.

A man leaning against a door
Photo courtesy of Cinephobia Releasing

To be fair, thereโ€™s more to this movie than just that excruciating tension. For example, even though we donโ€™t see Jesรบs fall, the aftermath of the accident is pretty gory. The babyโ€™s blood splatters all over the place, and Jesรบs himself sustains a nasty injury as well. He gets some glass in his hand, and when he pulls it out, the camera forces us to watch him do it. Itโ€™s pretty intense, and the effects in this scene are totally convincing.

On top of that, The Coffee Table is also a hilarious black comedy. For the first twenty minutes or so, the humor comes primarily from Jesรบs and Marรญaโ€™s banter, and it had me laughing out loud at least once every minute or two. However, after the tragic accident, the jokes take on a much darker tone, and they play off of the characterโ€™s ignorance of the babyโ€™s death.

To take just one example, thereโ€™s a scene where Marรญa laughs at her husband for breaking his table so quickly, and she wishes that she couldโ€™ve seen his face when it happened. Of course, if she knew the truth, she would say nothing of the sort, but that dark irony is what makes the gag so funny.

Itโ€™s the kind of humor you canโ€™t help but laugh at even though part of you isnโ€™t entirely sure you should, so it just adds to the uncomfortable tension. It helps make The Coffee Table a genuinely unrelenting emotional assault, so like I said before, if this isnโ€™t your wheelhouse, you should stay as far away from it as possible. But if this is the kind of horror you enjoy, youโ€™re going to love it. It truly is โ€œone of the cruelest films ever made,โ€ and for those of you brave enough to check it out, itโ€™s an experience you wonโ€™t soon forget.


5 responses to “The Coffee Table Will Rip Your Heart Out”

  1. Drona Avatar
    Drona

    Great job in spoiling the movie!
    I heard about this movie and wanted to google some reviews, unfortunately the FIRST SENTENCE in the google result for your page has already spoilt the whole premise which I would have preferred to not know going into the movie!
    Most other reviews are skirting around the incident that sets everything in motion, and I think the filmmakers (judging by the trailer) would actually like for people to get surprised.

    1. Roษ“be Sebesta Avatar
      Roษ“be Sebesta

      What the heck man, you told us the whole movie. No need for us to watch it.

  2. Kelly Keister Avatar
    Kelly Keister

    Thank you very much. You saved me much sorrow.

  3. Brutus Beefcake Avatar
    Brutus Beefcake

    He didn’t fall into the table, he smashed the baby into it because it wouldn’t stop crying.

  4. Mark Toth Avatar
    Mark Toth

    Just saw this movie, and this is a very competent and full review. The “black comedy” thing is throwing some people–that part of it only comes from the deeply philosophical subtext rather than the kind of deliberately tasteless irony one comes to expect of the term–and it is only one stop or feeling in this wheel of a movie–not “what the movie is”

    The movie is about the tragedy of life–in its inate and neutral but absolute cruelty–and us–who can add something far more disturbing to even that bummer– even when we’re trying so hard not to. This is daring and memorable filmaking and the references to Hitchcock are not about mere stylistics or tropey plot elements this time–but rare and excruciating suspense, terrible suspense.

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